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Relationships and 'The Truth'

What is the truth about relationships? Are there any general rules that can be applied to all relationships?

Well, the truth is that there is no truth. People's relationships vary as much as there are people. But what about general rules? Again, one can generalize and say that relationships work best in certain ways and that these ways are worth knowing and exploring as doing so places you in a better position to have a good relationship.

Having said that there are relationships that do exist and that do go on existing even though they go against the 'rules'. Such relationships may continue to exist as a matter of convenience, or because it suits the people involved, or for some other reason.

The 'truth' is that everyone is different and each person on this planet will only participate in a relationship in which they have a choice whether to or not if it suits them to do so.

It may suit a wife whose husband is now cheating on her to turn a blind eye if it will affect her social standing. Or it may suit her to end the relationship if fidelity and love are of greater importance.

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People stay in relationships or get out of them depending on what they get out of them. This is no different from other species, in fact. Sometimes other species form alliances with humans, for example. A pet dog, a bird that visits your garden for the seed you put out or a wild squirrel that takes food from your hand (not recommended as they bite!) are all examples of this. These animals only come to you because they get something worthwhile back and because it therefore suits them to do so. At this level humans are no different.

But what are the things that 'healthy relationships' as we might call them, have in common? See if you think these features apply to other species relationships as well as to humans.

To begin with there is trust. Few relationships last when trust is gone. Trust is built up over time during the 'getting to know you' phase of a relationship. If that trust is later broken then few relationships will continue.

Then there is loyalty or fidelity. Someone in a relationship must favor the other person over a third party in any situation if the relationship is to remain strong. In other words, the other person must 'take your side' in a relationship.

Spending time with the other person is usually a prerequisite for a healthy relationship. If you never or rarely see the other person then how will the relationship continue, let alone develop.

Shared interests are another factor bthat make relationships work. While you often hear that 'opposites attract' and in some cases it may seem to be true, it can only be the case that these 'opposite qualities' take second place to the things that bind the couple together. Without shared goals or interests first and foremost the 'opposites' will not be likely to attract for very long.

In what order of importance would you rate these qualities of relationships? Are there other aspects of relationships that you consider vital that have not been considered here?

All in all relationships are a big subject and you may expect to find many more articles and discussion points about them at this web site.

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